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Originally published on LaxSpot.com on 3/15/08

Everyone knows Samuel Powers. aka “Screech”, aka “The Screechmeister”, aka “The Screechster” but few knew about his glory on the field as a decoy playing the role of a 4th clearing middie. Punk was at the Bayside Hall of Fame recently and found the information to be startling and it all turns out to be quite tragic.

ScreechIt turns out that before the gang all suddenly moved one summer to their sunny destination in California with a strikingly similar school, they attended middle school in Indiana at John F. Kennedy JR High School which had a co-ed club lax team coached by Miss Bliss who came across the sport from one of her deadbeat boyfriends. As a coach, she wanted to give everyone on the team a fair shake. So to get the Screechster on the field she revolutionized the game as we know it and came up with the clearing middie position.

Screech’s playing time caused a lot of problems at JFK. Mikey quit the team because he got into a heated battle with Miss Bliss because he had to sit for Screech while Lisa and Nikki got to stay on the field. Zack didn’t seem to mind as long as Milo padded his ground ball stats.

When the gang moved to Cali, they tried to get a club team going to play the game they love. But Max, the owner of the best burger joint and hangout in town spent all the sponsorship money he had set aside on new magic items such as a top hat and a squirting flower. The boys and girls were crestfallen. With new transfer hunk and star athlete Albert Clifford Slater, they surely had a chance to beat Valley, but now we’ll never now.

Not having lacrosse in their lives turned out to lead many in the group and at Bayside to make bad decisions. Jessie turned to speed pills to cope because there’s never enough time and began dancing. Zack went on to drink and drive and crash Lisa Turtle’s moms Mercedes. Mr. Belding disowned his brother after bailing on a team trip to go rafting. Some of the girls that were going to play on the team turned to cheerleading and began rapping their cheers….”bebbebebbeeb go Bayside”. And finally and most tragic, the All-American girl next store Kelly Kapowski changed her name to Valerie Malone and became easily the most promiscuous girl in the 90210 zip code.

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Originally published on LaxSpot.com on 3/12/08

Just rockin out at work here…it’s Social D time.We had yet another great weekend of lax and things are only going to get better as the weather warms up.  Besides that, Punk can start wearing the hammock without being too cold. 

The lacrosse classic a couple weekends ago was a good time except the frigid weather.  I didn’t even make it to Flogging Molly later that night due to the adult beverage consumption.  I saw the Lax Spot folks there hitting on every girl that walked by.  I guess that’s how they roll?

Big win for the Flyin’ Dutchmen last week.  Pride is just a lame name and Punk refuses to say it ever again.  JHU had a tough week with a tight one against UMBC as well.  Punk thought Loyola was going to have a turn around year, but they just balled up and took steel tipped kodiaks to the teeth for about 60 minutes against the Dukies.  Their pride was out the window after the opening whistle and it showed.  If you’re playing big time D1 ball, you should wear that heart on your sleeve all day, not just out at the bar trying to pick up chicks and start fights at CVPs.  Okay, I said pride again but they looked ridiculous and had HUGE heads after a few wins.   

I would update on my Fantasy NLL team, however the good networking folks have placed a block on the site here at work.  Maybe I’ll take some time from being rad to check it later.

The Pogues are playing tonight in Baltimore with the Pietasters.  Always a treat to see the Pietasters as they put on a fun and energetic show.  Grab your keys in one hand and your beer in the other..drink! drink! drink!

 

 

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